Since my health is temporarily compromised and I'm functioning at half capacity (not to mention I feel like a walking zombified pharmacy), my husband has volunteered (under extreme duress) to help keep this household in running order by sharing some of the household responsibilities. That includes basic culinary survival skills.
We (meaning I) decided that ordering pizza and buying Hungry Man frozen dinners are not acceptable sources of nourishment (not long term anyway). So, I set upon a journey to teach my husband how to make real home cooked food. We agreed that this would also include dessert because life is no fun without dessert, right? His favorite dessert/breakfast/lunch/supper/snack is cinnamon rolls, or anything cinnamon for that matter. Our daughter is the same way. There's a catch, though. It has to be a cinnamon treat that tastes like cinnamon rolls but doesn't take a lot of time (i.e. patience) or effort (read: skills).
Because god forbid I get hit by a bus or something, both he and our daughter would be totally distraught without cinnamon rolls. And I won't be able to bake it from the grave.. or coffin.. or whatever. What an inconvenience my death would cause.
Keeping in mind that TJ, my beloved and dear husband, can barely boil water (he gets credit for trying, though) this recipe is fairly easy; meaning you can't screw it up even if you tried. Please bear with us; this is a tutorial of sorts. It's my first time teaching and apparently I suck at it. According to T, I don't articulate well and my directions lack focus and specificity. His words not mine. Me? I don't use that kind of language on my blog. No sir, we're simple folk here.
Anyway, we have a cake to bake so it's SHOWTIME!
We (meaning I) decided that ordering pizza and buying Hungry Man frozen dinners are not acceptable sources of nourishment (not long term anyway). So, I set upon a journey to teach my husband how to make real home cooked food. We agreed that this would also include dessert because life is no fun without dessert, right? His favorite dessert/breakfast/lunch/supper/snack is cinnamon rolls, or anything cinnamon for that matter. Our daughter is the same way. There's a catch, though. It has to be a cinnamon treat that tastes like cinnamon rolls but doesn't take a lot of time (i.e. patience) or effort (read: skills).
Because god forbid I get hit by a bus or something, both he and our daughter would be totally distraught without cinnamon rolls. And I won't be able to bake it from the grave.. or coffin.. or whatever. What an inconvenience my death would cause.
Keeping in mind that TJ, my beloved and dear husband, can barely boil water (he gets credit for trying, though) this recipe is fairly easy; meaning you can't screw it up even if you tried. Please bear with us; this is a tutorial of sorts. It's my first time teaching and apparently I suck at it. According to T, I don't articulate well and my directions lack focus and specificity. His words not mine. Me? I don't use that kind of language on my blog. No sir, we're simple folk here.
Anyway, we have a cake to bake so it's SHOWTIME!
Starring - a box cake mix (yes, I know, but this is supposed to be easy, remember, "NOVICE" is the key word here. Next week we'll try the cake from scratch bit), soy milk, oil, sugar, baking powder, vanilla and cinnamon.
Put everything out on your work space. Get your tools ready, too. And turn on the oven to 325 degrees.
Now, start by combining the brown sugar and cinnamon in a bowl then set aside. Yell at your spouse for forgetting to put brown sugar in the recipe then discover it's in the recipe afterall; you just didn't see it there.
Find your lovely kitchenaid bowl. Dump the cake mix and baking powder in. Did I mention that kitchenaid mixers are awesome. My kitchenaid is my best friend. That's right - it's a great listener, doesn't talk back and does all the hard work for me. More importantly, it doesn't judge me especially when I land face first into a pan of brownies. So make friends with your kitchenaid; love it, take care of it; do not upset the kitchenaid. Anyway, moving on...
Forget to do the nondairy buttermilk just like me because I'm an absent minded fool. Place 1 tablespoon of vinegar in a small pitcher and top it up to one cup with soy because your little girl is allergic to milk and the real thing would kill her. Also forget to take a picture of the vinegar. What can I say. I'm not perfect... shocking, I know!
This is the time to figure out which attachment to use depending on what you're doing. We're making cake batter. Therefore, the flat beater attachment is what we need. Okay, stop playing with all the buttons. Focus on the task at hand. Beater attachment, done.
Take 15 minutes to figure out how to attach the flat beater to the kitchenaid head. Curse, whine, ask for help (and be denied - I got hit by a bus, remember?), then curse some more before you finally figure it out. Good. Bring it on!
Discover that you've used the teaspoon measurement for the cinnamon instead of the tablespoon. Proceed to ask your spouse how to convert a teaspoon into a tablespoon and put her death on pause for now and complain that she should have mentioned that mistake instead of just snarking. Figure out that you need an extra tablespoon of cinnamon and go back to add it to the brown sugar.
Add the oil, applesauce and buttermilk - otherwise known as the wet ingredients. Yell at your spouse for not including applesauce in the recipe then discover it's there too. Learn the valuable lesson that you cannot skim through a recipe but have to actually read it.
Discover that you've used the teaspoon measurement for the cinnamon instead of the tablespoon. Proceed to ask your spouse how to convert a teaspoon into a tablespoon and put her death on pause for now and complain that she should have mentioned that mistake instead of just snarking. Figure out that you need an extra tablespoon of cinnamon and go back to add it to the brown sugar.
Add the oil, applesauce and buttermilk - otherwise known as the wet ingredients. Yell at your spouse for not including applesauce in the recipe then discover it's there too. Learn the valuable lesson that you cannot skim through a recipe but have to actually read it.
Mix on low speed (if your name starts with T, that means turn the switch to number 2) to get them combined, then turn speed to medium high (again, if your name starts with T, that means switch goes to number 6) and beat it like a red headed step mule for 2 minutes. No, trust me, it will not get tough. All that applesauce will make sure it's still tender. Now, when the 2 minutes are up, it should look like this...
Okay, we're done with the cake part. Set it aside for a bit and prepare your baking pan. Find the non stick 9x13 cake pan. There's no need to drag your ass to the garage to grab the tape measure out of your tool box. It should say right on the edge of the pan (or on the bottom if you're using the pan your mother-in-law got you for Christmas) what size it is. Find your non dairy baking spray. Please do not use the butter flavoured stuff; even though it's fake butter, it still has milk in it and will make your daughter swell to the size of Big Bird.
Spray the pan liberally because if you don't the cake will stick. Hear that? It's the sound of the oven beeping to let you know it's now ready to receive the cake because it's reached the desired temperature. Pay attention when you're spraying the darn pan; do not spray the counter top or stove... or other people in the room.
Pour half of the cake batter into the pan and gently spread a thin layer. I know it looks very thin right now but it will rise nicely as it bakes. Trust in the force, you must, young padawan; a powerful ally it is.
Show off your lack of coordination by flinging your arm all the way to the other side dripping batter off the spatula all over the place while pouring the rest of the batter all over the tray. Watch as your spouse winces because she's a clean (and control) freak...
Show off your lack of coordination by flinging your arm all the way to the other side dripping batter off the spatula all over the place while pouring the rest of the batter all over the tray. Watch as your spouse winces because she's a clean (and control) freak...
Now, remember that cinnamon and brown sugar we parked on the side? It's the show stopper. Grab that puppy and sprinkle half of the mixture on top of the batter. It looks like a helluva lota sugah! But do not worry, it will all be fine.
Pour the rest of the cake batter on top and very gently nudge it to cover as much of the sugar as possible. As if that's not enough, add the rest of the sugar mixture on top. Then take a knife or fork and swirl back and forth, like an artist creating a masterpiece. Lick the knife before putting it in the sink. Debate whether you should take a spoon and eat all the batter right now instead of baking it. Resist the urge to do that.
Proceed to open the oven and let all the heat out while you go get the pan. Get scolded; close the oven and wait for temperature to go back up. Have pan ready. Put it in the middle rack of the oven. If your name begins with T, put your silicone gloves on and take your glasses off (like you're going on a mining expedition) and carry the pan to the oven.
Wait impatiently for it to bake. Give up waiting after 5 minutes. Go play WoW or TOR... or some other game where one of your guild members calls himself Latex Funbags.
Hear the oven beep and rush down to the kitchen. Smell that heavenly scent of cinnamon.
Proceed to open the oven and let all the heat out while you go get the pan. Get scolded; close the oven and wait for temperature to go back up. Have pan ready. Put it in the middle rack of the oven. If your name begins with T, put your silicone gloves on and take your glasses off (like you're going on a mining expedition) and carry the pan to the oven.
Wait impatiently for it to bake. Give up waiting after 5 minutes. Go play WoW or TOR... or some other game where one of your guild members calls himself Latex Funbags.
Hear the oven beep and rush down to the kitchen. Smell that heavenly scent of cinnamon.
When the cake comes out of the oven it will look like this...
Lordy lord... this looks super yummy. But we're not done yet. We gotta put da glaze baby, da glaze.
Mix some icing sugar and soy milk with a drop of vanilla. Forget to take a picture because you're not all there yet and you're living in your own head. Pour the glaze on to the pretty, pretty cake while it is still piping hot.
Mix some icing sugar and soy milk with a drop of vanilla. Forget to take a picture because you're not all there yet and you're living in your own head. Pour the glaze on to the pretty, pretty cake while it is still piping hot.
Actually, it's better if you pour the glaze as soon as the cake comes out of the oven. You want it to soak all that sugary goodness. Use a small spoon to gently spread the glaze to the edges cuz they often get missed. I love the edges; they are my favorite part. I'm an edge girl, I guess.
Give it about 20 minutes before you dig in. Or if your name starts with T, just go ahead and pillage and plunder the hot cake, then complain (using foul language) that it's too hot but keep eating anyway cuz it's too good to stop.
Give it about 20 minutes before you dig in. Or if your name starts with T, just go ahead and pillage and plunder the hot cake, then complain (using foul language) that it's too hot but keep eating anyway cuz it's too good to stop.
And there it is folks. Look at all that gooey dripping cinnamon sugar bliss... YUMM!
Now, go forth and make cake. Then eat it and enjoy it.
Now, go forth and make cake. Then eat it and enjoy it.
Cinnamon Bun Cake
Yields 9x13 inch cake (serves 24)
1 box cake mix, white (dairy, egg, & nut free)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 cup soy buttermilk (1 cup soy milk +1 tablespoon vinegar)
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 1/2 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 cup icing sugar
3 tablespoon soy milk
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan with dairy free cooking spray and set aside. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl and set aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine cake mix, baking powder, canola oil, applesauce and soy buttermilk. Stir on low speed until ingredients come together then beat on high speed for 2 minutes. Pour half the batter into prepared pan and sprinkle with half of the cinnamon sugar mixture. Spoon the rest of the batter onto the cake. Top with remaining sugar mixture. Swirl with a knife to combine. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
In a small bowl, combine icing sugar, soy milk and vanilla. Pour on top of cake while still hot. Let cool then slice or eat it hot right out of the pan like a heathen.
Nutritional Info (Per Serving)
Calories 197.19, Total Fat 5.23g, Cholesterol 0mg, Sodium 218.5mg, Potassium 32.73mg, Total Carbohydrates 36.92g, Fiber 0.35g, Sugar 26.34g, Protein 0.85g
Nutrition analysis is approximate and will vary depending on exact ingredients used. Calculations are based on the Reference Daily Intake (RDI) for a 2000 calorie diet. Nutritional Facts are obtained from Radium Technologies' Living Cookbook. However, Allergymom.ca has no affiliation with Radium Technologies and does not guarantee the accuracy of this information.
Yields 9x13 inch cake (serves 24)
1 box cake mix, white (dairy, egg, & nut free)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup canola oil
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 cup soy buttermilk (1 cup soy milk +1 tablespoon vinegar)
1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 1/2 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1 cup icing sugar
3 tablespoon soy milk
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease a 9x13 inch baking pan with dairy free cooking spray and set aside. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl and set aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine cake mix, baking powder, canola oil, applesauce and soy buttermilk. Stir on low speed until ingredients come together then beat on high speed for 2 minutes. Pour half the batter into prepared pan and sprinkle with half of the cinnamon sugar mixture. Spoon the rest of the batter onto the cake. Top with remaining sugar mixture. Swirl with a knife to combine. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the centre comes out clean.
In a small bowl, combine icing sugar, soy milk and vanilla. Pour on top of cake while still hot. Let cool then slice or eat it hot right out of the pan like a heathen.
Nutritional Info (Per Serving)
Calories 197.19, Total Fat 5.23g, Cholesterol 0mg, Sodium 218.5mg, Potassium 32.73mg, Total Carbohydrates 36.92g, Fiber 0.35g, Sugar 26.34g, Protein 0.85g
Nutrition analysis is approximate and will vary depending on exact ingredients used. Calculations are based on the Reference Daily Intake (RDI) for a 2000 calorie diet. Nutritional Facts are obtained from Radium Technologies' Living Cookbook. However, Allergymom.ca has no affiliation with Radium Technologies and does not guarantee the accuracy of this information.
